Got Milk?

We drink a lot of milk. It usually sends us racing to the convenience store a couple of times a week for a replacement jug. Tonight I had to make a run. I went in and got one from the back of the shelf (you know it's the freshest) and proceeded to check out. I talked to a couple of people, and left. I got home, and put it away, and then it dawned on me. A little fresh air wafted up my backside, and I remembered then that I had a hole in the butt of my jeans. Well, damn. That is not too embarrassing, but then I went into the bathroom to pick up my son's dirty clothes, and glanced in the mirror. I had eaten a well crusted steak earlier, and the remnants of the pepper crust were smashed into the crevices of three or four of my front teeth. Well, my God! Could this evening get worse? Uh, yah! We were settling in to watch a show, and my son noticed a little wet something on one of the blankets we have on the couch. I looked it over, and decided it was dog throw up. I took the blanket to the wash, which sucks because I still don't have a dryer, and am having to hang my clothes out on the dog pen fence. (I was not raised like this, I swear) My old dryer is conveniently parked in my back yard for now, or 10 months from now, and the new one I got didn't work. Anyway, we looked at one of the other two blankets to see if it too was soiled with used puppy chow, and wouldn't you know it, it was. Off to the laundry with that on too. Only one blanket left. We checked it over, and of course, there it was, dog puke. This laundry thing is about to get me down. This morning I went out to get the clothes off the line (dog pen will from here on out be referred to as the line) and the 50 mph wind had scattered most of them all around the yard and inside the dog pen, so I had to rewash. Towels are crispy when hung out to dry too. Socks do not do well with staying hooked on the chain link, and I have absent mindedly hung my bras and panties in full view of the street more than once. I have a full time job around here taking care of the little messes my husband and son make, 3 dogs, 1 needy cat, and a new completely blind cat that turned up on our back porch two nights ago. That cat's name is Ray. (Ray Charles) Between dog throw up, doo doo stains, crunchy towels, handicapped animals, and the regular stuff, I am starting to think of that old Calgon commercial. Do they still make that stuff? I also caught the corner of my cheer box when I was piling puke blankets in the laundry room, and spilled the entire contents on the floor. I still have a hole in my jeans, don't care, I did get the pepper out of my teeth, much too late, cleaned up the 10 pounds of doggy throw, and I am thinking it is time for bed. But guess what! I got milk for my cereal in the morning. Damn, you know what I don't have? Cereal.